WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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