i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
