It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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