Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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