Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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