Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
