i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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