would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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