Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
