We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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