Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
You were trust falling into bushes
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize