am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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