Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
