And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Randomize
