I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize