i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
