I need to stop coming to work sober
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
