have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
