how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize