I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
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