Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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