no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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