I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
