At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Randomize
