I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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