Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
