btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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