It's Friday. Sex?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
