I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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