I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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