You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
