i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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