How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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