I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize