i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
