what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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