my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
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