i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Is Oprah even human
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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