so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
