How'd it feel making her break her religion?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize