and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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