Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
