So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Dicks are not precious.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
