You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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