can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize