the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
