I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
