I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
