Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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