think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Randomize
