I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Randomize
