You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Oh god it's open bar.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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