i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
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