why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
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