Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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