i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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