still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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