I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
